Almost every type has another type (or two) which it will gravitate toward believing that it is. This mistyping is often more of a psychological defense rather than a cognitive error. For male INFPs (and possibly some female INFPs growing up in highly intellectual households), their common mistype is INTP.
(Male) INFPs often Mistype as INTPs
All types tend to over-identify with their mix-max function (fourth position) on their stack. (To learn about functions and stack, read: The Eight Cognitive Functions.) For the INFP, their min-max function is Te. Thus, it is natural for INFPs to laud thought-based capabilities in themselves – and, perhaps because it is Te rather than Ti, INFPs sometimes highly laud the structural, mechanical, and systems thinking in others.
INFPs, like all four IN** types, are deeply talented with introspective (I), abstract (N) thought. Thus, this quadrant of types has much in common. Your type, however, doesn’t dictate your IQ (although INTJs are the one type that does show statistically significant higher scholastic achievements). In general, intelligence, logic, rationality, and the ability to think systematically is largely independent from your type. This, however, is not intuitively obvious in a system that calls some types “thinkers” and other types “feelers.”
All types use all four behaviors – internal attention (I), external attention (E), sensory awareness (S), abstraction (N), thinking-systemizing (T), feeling-intuiting (F), discretion (J), and perception (P). (To learn about J versus P, read: The Deeper Meanings of Judging and Perceiving and What does the difference between a J and P really look like in practice?)
You aren’t “missing something” by being one type or another. But men, in particular, are highly socialized to be non-feeling. Worse, male INFPs are often shamed more for emotions than other boys because as Fi-dominants, they often express emotions much more powerfully (and with a great deal more conviction) at a young age. Thus, male INFPs can have very sensitive egos around their ability to be aloofly intellectual. They may even profess a strong intellectual, philosophical belief that “there is nothing wrong with emotions” whilst still carrying that hidden, suppressed negative self-concept outside their awareness.
You might be thinking, “But I’ve tested as an INTP, so clearly that is my type!” And, of course, you may be right. Maybe you are an INTP (or whatever your test results have shown), but it is important to consider that these tests are done via self-assessment which is based on your perception of yourself. And that isn’t the only folly. To learn more, read: Six Reasons Why Tests Don’t Work Very Well.
Both INFPs and ENFPs are very concerned with honor, social harmony, integrity, and mutuality. Both INFPs and INTPs tend toward deep introspection and philosophical thoughts. INFPs and INFJs both tend to spend a lot of time dreaming up utopias and idyllic potentials for humanity – and all the other wonderful lifeforms on this planet.
Here are some things that sort INFPs out from INTPs (and other types).
INFPs are stereotypically quite bad with managing their environment. While they may develop systems which allow them to be on time, orderly, and quite hygienic, these things are particularly difficult for them due to Se landing in their blindspot (seventh position). INFPs seem to struggle to “keep watch” of what’s going on around them in the external world. This is one way in which INFPs and INTPs look very similar, as INTPs also have Se in their blindspot, but this comes with a huge but.
INTPs, as Ti dominants, possess what appears from the outside to be an incredible willpower which can choose to overcome any particular deficiency it chooses. Thus, INTPs who have “made up their mind” to have a clean house will have an immaculate house (despite their Se blindspot). INTPs who have “decided” to notice facial expressions will indeed do so. INTPs who become interested in a physical activity can become surprisingly good at it through this powerful capacity to create a mental rule and follow it without fail. In truth, nobody can exert willpower constantly, and what looks like willpower is the Ti-dominant’s ability to come up with a mental model of how something works, and then match their behavior to that conclusion with utmost fidelity.
In contrast, INFPs, as Fi-dominants, can’t simply “think themselves” into a consistent behavior. Instead, if they want a full behavior shift, they’d have to feel themselves into it through a sense of honor or integrity. Nonetheless, even in matters of honor, INFPs struggle to maintain anything consistently from minute to minute – much less year-to-year – unless it simply “feels right” and authentic to the INFP that consistently. INFPs burn out easily from forcing themselves to do anything that doesn’t feel authentic in the moment.
INTPs, because of their willpower, can be incredible employees, persevering through uncomfortable work conditions, social conflicts, and heavy workloads. In contrast, INFPs feel like their sanity and selfhood is being stolen from them every minute of their day which is not coming from a deeply integral, authentic place. Because of this, INFPs are often stay-at-home caregivers, self-employed, or not employed. (It is also common for ENFPs to struggle with work in this same way and to become entrepreneurs. ENFPs, and even ESFPs, will classically mistype themselves as INFPs.)
Another key difference between INFPs and INTPs (and E*FPs), is that INFPs seem to have more struggles with their health. Perhaps due to the trauma of being an Fi-dominant in a culture which does not respect or understand emotions – much less respect someone who is built to operate from their gut instincts – INFPs seem to have a much higher incidence of chronic illness and allergies.
INFPs are so supremely concerned with doing what is right, best, and honorable that they almost inevitably can’t live up to their own standards. That isn’t their fault. If you live in a country that is built to make every choice a lose-lose decision (either you suffer or someone else does), and you’re very sensitive to who loses out with each choice, then this can lead to intense codependent behavior, guilt, shame, and even self-hatred. The same philosophical views are often held by INTPs, but once again, the “willpower” of the INTP usually steps in and prevents self-hatred from disrupting one’s finances, physical health, or marriage.
INFPs, when they embrace their nature more fully, can become some of the most profoundly good listeners of all the types. By combining the emotional presence and empathic capacity of Fi-dominance, with the explorative, curious nature of Ne-auxiliary, with the systems of Te min-max, INFPs can be powerhouse counselors, friends, and spouses. While both INFPs and INTPs love to talk about their philosophies and utopic notions, INFPs are profoundly better listeners. INTPs can listen and offer insight, too, of course. But INFPs are more naturally drawn to listening and will often do as little as ten percent of the talking in a conversation.
If you’re hovering around the entire IN** quadrant still, trying to sort out INFP versus INTJ or INFJ, these are actually easier to sort out. IN*Js are the two Ni-dominants, which makes them very oriented on trajectories, the past and the future, as well as the “meanings” of things. While INFPs want to share feelings with someone, Ni-dominants want to share meanings with someone. Even INFJs, while deeply concerned with humans, emotions, psychology, and connection, are much more concept centric. INFJs are much more supremely concerned with whether something means the same thing to you as it does to them when it comes to connection, but INFPs want to know if you feel the same way.
A much easier way to tell INFPs from INFJs is this: INFPs stereotypically struggle to write – feeling like each word and sentence must be “just right” – and yet nothing actually can be right due to the subtle nuance in each word. INFJs often find that writing and language just come naturally, and if some of the words aren’t perfect – that’s okay, because more words can be piled on until the sum of the words conveys the concept. INFJs have a natural kinship with the poetry of language, offering them the ability to feel like words just flow through them. While INTJs don’t seem to have quite such a kinship with language, they also tend to write far more easily than INFPs.
To further complicate typology, we must consider how radically differently three INFPs will develop in three different households.
In the first household we’ll imagine ENTP and ENFP parents – Ne-dominant father and mother. In this household – that loves film, theater, novels, video games, and role playing – the INFP will be able to develop very “naturally.” Their Ne will be nurtured, and their Fi will not be punished. This will give us the classic INFP: Fi-Ne.
In the second household we’ll imagine ISFJ and ESFJ parents. These parents, while both F-types, are highly concerned with appearances. Si-dominance tends to respect tradition and pageantry more than authenticity. Sad on Christmas? Oh well – plaster on a smile for the sake of your relatives! And Fe-dominants are more interested in social performance and the appearance of harmony than with deep cohesion of hearts. Thus, in this household, the INFP may lean much more heavily on their tertiary Si – especially if their Ne is given no space to grow. In this case we can say the Si becomes almost more of an auxiliary than the Ne, giving us the Fi-Si subtype.
In the third household we’ll likely see at least one T parent, perhaps an ENTJ or an ISTP, and along with cultural beliefs that strongly suppress both the gut-instinct approach of Fi and the exploratory nature of Ne. In this case, the min-max Te is brought to the forefront, developing much more quickly and strongly than it otherwise would. This subtype (Fi-Te), in particular, will be inclined to identify with descriptions of an INTP – or even an INTJ.
For more on subtype development and my forty-eight type theory, read: Cognitive Priorities: How Attention Shapes Who You Are.
Subtype development happens due to childhood circumstances causing the “stack” to develop in a nonstandard order. But all types become harder to distinguish as we age. This is because type development is bringing us down our stack, causing us to develop things that used to be difficult or uninteresting. Thus, almost every extrovert becomes more introspective as decades pass, and almost every introvert becomes either more social or worldly (or both) as decades pass. Thus, INFPs and INTPs may behaviorally look much more similar to one another in their forties or fifties than they might have in their twenties. The INFP may finally master a system for a tidy house, and the INTP might master the art of being a present, patient listener. The INFP might find truly fulfilling employment, and the INTP might learn to be comfortable with their own vulnerability. The INFP might become accepting of other people choosing to live dissociated from their hearts, and the INTP might learn to admit when they’re wrong.
INFPs are some of my favorite types, and I’ve been blessed to have many of them in my life. And my wonderful, insightful father is an INTP. Both of these types are very dear to my heart and my life. I hope you’ve found this exploration of their differences insightful and helpful to your journey. If you’re still not sure – or you simply want to get to know yourself better than ever before – book a consultation with me.
— Raederle
AUTHOR, NEUROTYPOLOGIST,
LIFE COACH & NUTRITION CONSULTANT